Light Keepers Journey 1
Shortly after a deep and transformative ceremony, I had a vivid dream with my Grandfather. And of course, when we dream of those passed on, we know that they are not "dreams", but encounters in the ‘realm’ where we are all connected. Every other dream I’ve had of him we were on the seine boat heading somewhere great, like Skaang Gwaii, he was always in his element. But in this “meeting”, I had coordinated a ceremony for Indigenous people and when I entered the yurt like structure and pulled back the curtain, my grandfather was sitting there, ready for the ceremony. I was taken aback! Without speaking, he rose and we hugged, a deep, warm embrace (it has been some time since we've seen each other after all!). A very heartfelt reunion for certain. I said "Grandpa! I didn't know you did these ceremonies?” and he nodded, yes. "I do" he said. In that moment I realized that this encounter was not taking place in the past when we was “alive”, and it wasn't in the present because he is physically no longer with us—and neither in the future. What this was— the realm where the past/preset/future are ONE and simultaneously enmeshed. That dimension does not follow linear time constructs (which are concepts and functions of the mind) but where everything is—all at once! I was so so GRATEFUL to get to meet him in that realm and to see that he was doing sacred work on the “other side”. Amazing!
This deep knowing that we are infinitely connected to everything that is, ever was, and ever will be is extraordinary! Its one thing to "think it" with use of your rational/logical function. But to sit with it...and FEEL what that kind of universal connectivity means is the thing that activates our innermost being. I mean, every single time I feel into that reality I feel a shift- that I can get a glimpse of a bigger, more profound and harmonious reality. We are energy, that is a fundamental scientific fact. According to the laws of physics, energy has no beginning or end. What does that mean for us? There is a part of us (soul or spirit) that is infinite. I mean, every spiritual tradition that exists offers us methods and means to glimpse this unseen reality, so it is not as if there is a shortage of ways to "get there". For me, it is a matter of taking the time to really appreciate the unity of all that is. And then doing my best to embody that in my daily life.
Embodying unity, how do we do that really? For me, embodying unity means acknowledging everything for what it is. The second part, which is much harder, is accepting everything as is. Harder, because for me it brings up an inner niggling…’Well, when do we need to take a stand? To say 'NO, this is not ok!’ and when do we just accept and allow things to be as they are? Allowing “what is” is at the same time quite dichotomous to another spiritual conviction that I have, which is that we are all put here on Earth to be of service, agents of the divine, the creator, humanity and the ecology. Which means standing up for rights of humans, animals and the ecology to survive without damage, destruction or harm. We all have a right to exist and we ALL have a right to flourish down to the smallest microbe. So where I draw the line with "accepting what is" is when others inflict damage and destruction and harm. So protecting other's rights to exist without harm is really the only morality we need to live by. Think of the wisdom of the simple Hippocratic oath, "First do no harm”; really the only commandment we should live by.
But if we really want to take things to the next level we can try to do that which Jesus repeatedly told his disciples to, to go out into the world and "love one another as I have loved you". This, in my mind, should be the only commandment, to replace all others (it was after all, the one phrase repeated many times in serval gospels). But look at us. Look how hard that is for us. We only have love for those who love us. Very few of us have the capabilities of loving boldly, openly, indiscriminately, and unconditionally. (and Jesus loved all the outcasts of society!)
See, I used to be one of those people who used to hold back everything (even myself) until felt someone was ‘worthy’ of me and my love. If love is a commodity in limited supply we need to be selective about the recipients of it right? Like its a supply and demand scenario. Thats what I used to think. But no. The love you generate from within you may feel limited, but the universal love that is the fabric of the universe is infinite and can swell through you if you allow it to. And second part is that some of the most unlovable people out there have the biggest wounds. While that doesn't make it my job to heal those wounds, I do in that moment have the ability to effect the collective field of energy by choosing love. And it doesn't drain me, because it is not generated from me, or within me. I call upon it to come through me— so I am only a channel for that energy to come through to this reality.
One thing I have come to learn is that there IS a way to have both healthy boundaries for yourself of what you will and will not tolerate in your life, AND to simultaneously just give love. And it is as simple as this: When you are faced with someone, just love them in that moment. If that person is an asshole, thats ok! You DO NOT have to open your doors to have them in your life. But in that moment, emanate love. Im not saying you have to love their personality, their past/present behaviour, or anything like that. I am not saying that you cannt speak your truth either. All I am saying is hold love in your heart while your soul recognizes their soul and respect their experience (which most likely is a difficult one). I’ve personally had to do this many, many, many, times, when faced with difficult family gatherings or difficult situations with individuals, where before I enter the situation I pray to have my heart be open and have love flow through me in order to emanate love. ‘Please let the love that comes through me be the strongest energy in the room’, I pray. Again, the boundary means that I do not have to keep choosing these difficult people to be in my life. All it means is if I need to be there, then my choice can be love in that moment. And thats it. No further “commitment” needed. To be crystal clear, sometimes love just means compassion or tolerance or acceptance (like, ok I accept that you are an asshole because your life experiences have led you to respond to life in this way)— it doesn't have to be this mushy-gushy, lovey-dovey stuff that we typically think of has “love”. This isn't about falsely conjuring feelings that are clearly not there. Our view of love is so limited, our culture teaches us that there is familial love, romantic love, platonic love-and that's about it! I like to think divine love is at play whenever you appreciate something or someone, when you feel inspired by someone/something, or when you feel softened towards someone, its all LOVE.
So we need to also broaden our concept of love and expand the idea of what it means to be open hearted, big hearted, strong hearted, tender hearted. Love is not a treasure we hold in our hearts—like a vessle. It is an infinite energy source that can be always emanating outward, like the sun— always giving, always providing, never depleting. That is the kind of divine love that we all deserve. We deserve to receive it AND we deserve to give it as a gift to the world. If I hadn't ever been in situations where I had been impacted by other peoples acts of gracious love, I would have no idea I've how transformative it truly is. So, in my mind if there's one thing that has the power to change our world it is that, just LOVE. And we can choose it with every interaction.