All In Due Time
All in due time…
Yes. That is my new motto. I use mottos quite often to help me re-focus or shift things within myself that need tweaking. (The same away I use a “theme song” to keep me pumpin’). The busier I am and the more I have on my plate, the more impatient I become. I like to make things happen, preferably YESTERDAY. I am not an intense person by nature though, Im pretty laid back when it comes to most things. But over the last year or so, I’ve experienced a strong inspiration propelling me forward, with a kind of urgency. I don’t want to talk about doing stuff, I want to DO stuff and sort out details as I go. I have a thing about efficiency and not squandering any time. (which I clearly did not inherit from either my Aboriginal or my Italian heritage LOL). Slow processes kill me. And the ironic part is that I am fully aware of how important slowing down, enjoying the journey and the experience of life as a process is a key to enjoying life. Yet still I feel like there is a fire under my ass that keeps propelling me forward. And when I questioned what the source of that drive stems from, it is the understanding that our time here is limited in this life, with this body and mind. I get that my soul’s journey is unlimited, but this—here and now— this is a unique set of circumstances. Perhaps my soul has never felt so LIBERATED to achieve my highest purpose, so I am driven. Towards giving, helping, creating and positive change.
And I am at this kind of juncture in life, where what I want in life and what I have in my life— in a few key areas— are not meeting in harmonious reality quite yet. Certain aspects are excellent, others are lacking. And so I find myself getting frustrated at the speed in which the universe is working to bring me what I need. Even as I write that I cringe a little inside, because I know how cocky that line of thinking is on some level. So I re-frame it, I tell myself ‘this is a time of preparation, to get ready for the great things to come’. So I am using this time to plant the seeds that will grow into my future blossoming into its fullest potential.
Over the last year and a half, I have moved from one plan to the next with full force. Plan A: Attending UVic, but I wasn't accepted (in spite of my 3.67 GPA). Plan B: to coordinate and facilitate a cultural program that brought spirituality into our community through circle healing work and ceremony, and then we didn't get the funding for the program. Plan C: attend Naropa University to get an MA in Transpersonal Psychology. This plan took the most time, energy and finances, and three weeks before I was set to leave the plan crumbled. So now plan D? Well shit, Im leaving that up to the universe, because it clearly knows something that I don’t. I don’t know what the hell is in the works, because my own plans for my life, while allowing me some great experiences, have not been THE path apparently. As much as I like to be in charge of my life, some mystery is in the works. So, ok Creator, I’ll do it your way and go with the flow. And see what transpires… "All in due time…"